Three Ways to Build a Better Online Dating
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|The competition for attention on online dating
services is intense. So intense, in fact, that some people resort to
lying or posting outdated photos to try and attract that next date.
It's vital that you are honest in your profile and through
your photos so that you don't meet (or interact) with others under
So then what are some important things you
can do to build a better profile? Here are three specific profile
tips you can use to improve your profile right now.
Have you ever gone out on a first date
where the person you were with complained about his/her work, ex,
etc? Such negative talk is a major turnoff. Likewise, negativity is
a major turnoff in your profile. Being positive is like a magnet.
Being negative is like wearing a skunk aroma. Here's how one person
actually began her profile:
"To be quite honest, I have been
putting this off as long as possible. I have friends who use Match
and have had some terrible dates."
This begs to ask, "what
are you doing here?" Now contrast that to this profile introduction:
"I've heard online dating is a great way to meet awesome
people and that's why I want to meet you."
Which one of
these profile intros is more attractive? The one who wants to date
"losers" or the one that wants to date "winners"? Psychologically
everyone wants to be a winner. Therefore in your profile, avoid
anything negative like the plague. Be positive.
If you have
anything negative in your profile ("I hate country music," "the last
guy I dated was a liar and cheater," "I'm sick of being alone," "I'm
sick of the bar scene," etc.) then go edit it out immediately and
replace it with something positive ("I love independent music and
artists, like..."). Always be positive; not just in your profile,
but also in life.
2) Go From Typical to Unique
Read this profile and tell me if you recognize it:
"I am a fun person who loves movies and music. I like walks
on the beach, good conversation, and dining out. I'm looking for
someone who is fun and can make me laugh."
the above describes most profiles - typical and non-informative.
Beef up your profile to be more descriptive and unique. Instead of
"I like movies," say "my favorite movie is ____ because _______" or
use a movie character to describe you. "I'm a lot like _____ in
______ because _______."
Use clever words that are
descriptive. Instead of saying "on hot days I like to go to the
ocean or on a hike," say, "on a sizzling day my adventurous side
leads me to traversing the ocean on a sailboat or discovering a new
waterfall that I can cool off under."
Instead of "I like to
discover new things," say, "I'm a lot like Indiana Jones in that I
love exploring the mysteries of life, while educating my mind to
appreciate new things."
Strive to make your profile
unordinary by spicing it up sentence by sentence. Be descriptive,
unique, and fun!
3) Filter Out Unwanteds
profile isn't about getting responses. It is about getting responses
from the type of person you are attracted to. Therefore, use
descriptions to help narrow your focus to what you want so that you
get responses from who you're looking for.
Instead of "I'm
looking for someone fun and humorous," say, "I'm looking for a
lighthearted man between the ages of 24 and 29 who enjoys the
humorous side of life. If you are clean-shaven and can hold a
conversation during a 150 mile car journey, then we may be a match.
In the above example, you created three filters -
an age filter (24 and 29), and appearance filter (clean-shaven) and
a communication filter (good-communicator). And you did it without
offending. But you also created a response filter ("...we may be a
match. Email me.") You've helped tell the person what the next step
is if they meet your criteria. You've created a call to action,
which will help direct interested parties to email you versus
Change your header message
and main photo often. It keeps it fresh and interesting for people
doing searches and increases the chances of it being viewed. Be
creative. View some of our Top 10 lists of funny and philosophical
A great way to make your profile better is
to analyze profiles you really like. What is it that you like about
them? What makes the profiles different?
Now what will you
do to make your profile different?